For the love of god, make them stop.......
I have to wonder what the foooking hell was I thinking..............
Two kids were bad enough but three. Foook my old boots. It's hard work. I'm glad to be in work away from all the shite.
The thing is children grow up. Un fucking believable, but true. They start out as this screaming shitting machine that'll sleep most of the time if you're lucky. Then they are awake for a lot longer then they start to smile and interact a bit - not much. Then they start to make noises, no not THAT sort of noise they've done that from day one. No this is a babbling noise. Then, and the fooking crazy thing is, you will actually try and encourage this, they'll start to walk and talk and you'll be all chuffed. And then you realise they don't shut up, not for a foooking second. Oh my giddy fooking aunt Nora they don't shut up from the time they're up to the time they're in bed. They have no sense of loudness nor have they the politeness not to talk when you're on the phone, watching the TV. They even come into the toilet when you're having some quality time with the porcilin. They have no - well they just have no nothing nicht, nada, zero - they don't give a flying foook if you're in the shitter it don't matter if they want to see you they will....
Jess has been talking for a while - for ages she didn't talk or walk she just sat there playing away fooking ideal - but now, now she's running around the house like a fooking headless chicken. And do you know whos at fault, yes that would be I and her. If only we hadn't encouraged her.
Shannon is also talking - not sure if she understands what she's saying but she yells like a screaming banshee "DA" sometimes at me, but she never screams it the once oh no she repeats herself over and over again. She also says dog and airplane - no shit man. I think her sister has said the words over and over again she has picked them up. She is also walking again I think it's because her sister is active she wants to be with her as well. The thing is she shuffles like Ozzie foooking Osborne, yelling DA da gone da dog airplane..... A bit like Ozzie.
Then you have Keria, she who sleeps. When she's not sleeping she's crying. When she's not crying she's shitting. To be fair she is settling in a lot better now before she was waking every 2 hours for a feed. Now she gets up about three in the morning - and give her, her dues my missus tends to her.
The other day whilst I was at work. Jess decided to play mum. Ally, who was asleep, said she could hear the little patter of tiny feet heading toward the bathroom, then returning to the bedroom. Just as the door shut she could hear "baby Shan poo" Jumping out of bed, falling would be more accurate the missus ran toward the bedroom....... Lying in her cot Shannon looked at her with her big brown eyes. Jessica stood on the far side looking pleased with herself.... Shannons babygrow was undone. Her nappy was undone. Shit was plastered EVERYWHERE.
Jess stood looking at the missus, "Shan poo" she said. "Who done this" asked the missus pointing at a very shit splattered Shannon. "Shan" came the reply......
A few days earlier, again when I was at work. Ally was sleeping and, again she heard the teeny tiny patter of feet heading toward the bathroom. A couple of minutes went by. Then ARRRGGGHHHHH Jess screamed. Running into the bathroom the missus stood looking at Jess.
Jess had decided to wash her hair. Without water. Using half a bottle of shampoo she stood there, bubbles in her eyes, shampoo everywhere......
People I ask you, if not for me but for your own well being - have the snip, have the tubes tied. Adopt, you thank me in the long run.........
Two kids were bad enough but three. Foook my old boots. It's hard work. I'm glad to be in work away from all the shite.
The thing is children grow up. Un fucking believable, but true. They start out as this screaming shitting machine that'll sleep most of the time if you're lucky. Then they are awake for a lot longer then they start to smile and interact a bit - not much. Then they start to make noises, no not THAT sort of noise they've done that from day one. No this is a babbling noise. Then, and the fooking crazy thing is, you will actually try and encourage this, they'll start to walk and talk and you'll be all chuffed. And then you realise they don't shut up, not for a foooking second. Oh my giddy fooking aunt Nora they don't shut up from the time they're up to the time they're in bed. They have no sense of loudness nor have they the politeness not to talk when you're on the phone, watching the TV. They even come into the toilet when you're having some quality time with the porcilin. They have no - well they just have no nothing nicht, nada, zero - they don't give a flying foook if you're in the shitter it don't matter if they want to see you they will....
Jess has been talking for a while - for ages she didn't talk or walk she just sat there playing away fooking ideal - but now, now she's running around the house like a fooking headless chicken. And do you know whos at fault, yes that would be I and her. If only we hadn't encouraged her.
Shannon is also talking - not sure if she understands what she's saying but she yells like a screaming banshee "DA" sometimes at me, but she never screams it the once oh no she repeats herself over and over again. She also says dog and airplane - no shit man. I think her sister has said the words over and over again she has picked them up. She is also walking again I think it's because her sister is active she wants to be with her as well. The thing is she shuffles like Ozzie foooking Osborne, yelling DA da gone da dog airplane..... A bit like Ozzie.
Then you have Keria, she who sleeps. When she's not sleeping she's crying. When she's not crying she's shitting. To be fair she is settling in a lot better now before she was waking every 2 hours for a feed. Now she gets up about three in the morning - and give her, her dues my missus tends to her.
The other day whilst I was at work. Jess decided to play mum. Ally, who was asleep, said she could hear the little patter of tiny feet heading toward the bathroom, then returning to the bedroom. Just as the door shut she could hear "baby Shan poo" Jumping out of bed, falling would be more accurate the missus ran toward the bedroom....... Lying in her cot Shannon looked at her with her big brown eyes. Jessica stood on the far side looking pleased with herself.... Shannons babygrow was undone. Her nappy was undone. Shit was plastered EVERYWHERE.
Jess stood looking at the missus, "Shan poo" she said. "Who done this" asked the missus pointing at a very shit splattered Shannon. "Shan" came the reply......
A few days earlier, again when I was at work. Ally was sleeping and, again she heard the teeny tiny patter of feet heading toward the bathroom. A couple of minutes went by. Then ARRRGGGHHHHH Jess screamed. Running into the bathroom the missus stood looking at Jess.
Jess had decided to wash her hair. Without water. Using half a bottle of shampoo she stood there, bubbles in her eyes, shampoo everywhere......
People I ask you, if not for me but for your own well being - have the snip, have the tubes tied. Adopt, you thank me in the long run.........
posted by Bishop bashing at 2:35 PM
1 Comments:
Shan poo .. I'm guessing is different from Sham poo ? I hope so .. ugh ..
lol
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